we are only worlds apart
by alliceau
Summary: In which Mako is a spirit. Eventual Makorra.
1. Yue

_we are only worlds apart_**  
**

Part 1: Yue

Mako didn't want to be a spirit. He didn't want to drift around for all eternity. He wanted his mortal body back. He wanted his _life_ back.

Having been a spirit for a _very _long time (he honestly doesn't remember how long), Mako doesn't really remember how he became a spirit. He actually doesn't remember much. What Mako was remember is that he hasn't always been a spirit, that at one point he had been a mortal boy who had done something incredibly stupid that caused him to be enveloped into the spirit world.

Mako was a spirit, but always took his mortal shape, causing other spirits to be wary of him and almost mistake him for a human if it weren't for his spiritual glow. Regardless, many a spirit tried to throw him into the valley of Lost Souls. Of course, even if they did succeed to do so, Mako could simply find his way out. He was a spirit and spirits didn't belong where humans were.

There really was nothing that spirits did. Mako missed the mortal world where his life had purpose and he wasn't so affected by the energy of those around him. He wanted to be his own person again. The spirit world was a terrible place for Mako, a human that had become a spirit through an act of goodwill and then was transformed into a spirit for his efforts. A great honor, the spirits had told him, but Mako hadn't wanted to leave the mortal world and hadn't wanted to be stuck in this spiritual state, forced to float around and provide "light" forever.

Mako didn't discover the ability for spirits to pass into the mortal world until the moon spirit died. And then came back again through a mortal being. There had been a large mass of spirits rushing towards the spirit oasis, waiting for this mortal being to initiate her into her spiritual duties. Mako hadn't wanted to join the commotion, but his interest was peaked by the whispers of the moon spirit dying and then coming back to life again. How could a spirit die, Mako wondered. Mako had always thought that spirits were immortal.

Mako stayed away from the crowds surround the spirit oasis, knowing that too many people would overwhelmed the girl, much like he had been when he was first dropped into the spirit world. He waited until all of the spirits that cared introduced themselves to the girl, before leaving her soaked and miserable in the spirit pool. He cautiously approached her, taking in her white hair and beautiful large blue eyes.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Yue," was her timid answer. She coughed and then looked straight up at him, stating more boldly, "My name is Yue". Mako told her his name and then offered her a place to stay.

* * *

Mako's home in the spirit world was a little cave near the spirit oasis, surrounded by spirit bushes and talking spirit mushrooms. Sometimes, when he was desperately seeking company, he would strike up a conversation with these mushrooms, but gave up after a short while after realizing yet again why nobody talked to the mushrooms; they were just plain annoying. You'd think light spirits wouldn't make him think such dark thoughts.

Mako took Yue under his wing, showing her the ways of the spirit world. He coaxed her story out of her, learning about the boy she had left behind in the mortal world and the moon spirit's initial sacrifice that led to her current situation. He stayed beside her as she cried and longed for her mortal life. She gradually grew stronger, accepting her dreary fate in the spiritual world. Mako understood how she felt; perhaps he was the only one in the world who did. He missed those in his previous life, the people he had left behind. His heart ached for them, even though their faces had faded from his memory eons ago and their names were merely a blur of letters in his mind.

Yue became his constant companion. She was the kindest spirit he had ever encountered. There was something about her that welcomed all the other spirits. She became rather popular, other spirits often calling on her to come play with them. She had friends and Mako was left to sit in his cave to talk to mushrooms. Yue always came back though, saying that she loved him and that he was like the big brother she never had.

It wasn't for many mortal years that Mako breached the subject of the moon spirit's ability to die. Mako asked Yue about how it was possible for a spirit to _die_, to become part of the mortal world like he yearned to be.

Yue cried, knowing of his fantasy, apologizing over and over that she didn't know, she was sorry, _so sorry, I'm so sorry Mako. _Mako had left her crying in the cave, hiding his own tears and running through the forest to the portals. He smashed his fists against the glowing globes, begging for them to open and let him through because _he didn't belong here._ He collapsed as his energy ebbed, shaking with shattered hope and despair.

He returned to his little cave the next day, the rays of light clearing his head and making him think of his friend. He found her waiting for him, her white lips curled into a sad smile and her arms open, ready to comfort him. He sunk into her embrace, seeking her womanly warmth.

Mako continued on with his monotonous life. There still wasn't much to do in the spiritual world, though Yue made his existence infinitely more purposeful. Caring for her gave him a focus, something to take his mind off feeling miserable. Yue had started to forget her father, her mother, her tribe, _her lover _and she became a depressing force. He watched as she unsuccessfully tried to bring their faces up to her memory again and listened as she repeated their names over and over, determined not to forget, but he knew best that it wasn't possible, that she was really just making everything worse for herself. Despite this knowledge, Mako tried to help her and created a sheet full of the names of her loved ones with passable drawings to match. He watched as she clutched the paper like a lifeline and never parted from it. He sighed, knowing that eventually she would need to move on, that it was hopeless and pointless to try and remember. She was stuck here anyways.

All spirits had dramatic mood swings. It came as part of being a spirit and being a integral part of the energy holding the universe together. Yue's were the worst. One moment she was splashing in the spirit oasis with the rest of the life spirits, laughing and playing tag as if she hadn't a worry; the next, she seemed to crumble, affecting all those around her and turning them into their darker equivalents with her spiritual pull, and causing her to fall deeper into despair. She wasn't used to her power or to her influence in this world, both physically and emotionally. Mako knew that the moon spirit simply needed time to adjust, but sometimes he wished she could just reach his state of acceptance. But Mako knew that he was a product of many years of loneliness and suffering. He hoped Yue would never have to go through that.

Yue did get better. She was no longer so prone to mood swings and merely glanced at her cheat sheet with a sad smile before tucking it away, as someone would an old photograph that they had forgotten about and then found again. She began to draw farther away and Mako – Mako let her. He was happy that she was creating a family here, that she was able to start anew and actually be happy. Who was he to keep her away from happiness?

* * *

Mako felt the change in the spirit world as soon as it occurred. The spirit portals had been closed for longer than he had been a spirit. Mako could feel the shift in the balance of the earth, could feel it deep within his core. He had rushed towards the portals, allowing its ever-constant magnetic pull to drag him nearly there before he caught himself and forced his body to a sharp stand still. If he even saw the portals he knew he would break, that he rush away from this place without another thought. Things had changed though and Mako had responsibilities, someone to share his happiness with. But Mako felt the change deep within him as he mundanely walked back towards his home. The southern portal was open.

As he approached his cave, he broke into a sprint, allowing his spiritual powers to seek Yue out in seconds when he found the cave empty as _everything is connected_. He had picked her up, spinning her around, laughing with joy she had never seen in his persona. He set her down eventually and told her the news, watching as her face transformed into a breathtaking grin of happiness. They rushed off instantly, allowing themselves to be pulled to the portals and _there it was_ – the southern portal's stream of light indicating that it was open, that he was free, _that Mako could leave._

Mako rushed towards the light, but Yue's tight grip on his arm caused him to come to a shuddering stop. He glanced back at her, a question at the tip of his tongue before he drank in her dark expression. He followed her gaze and saw what he had initially overlooked in his moment of utter delight. Dark spirits surrounded the portal, their purple and black bodies disappearing as they were enveloped into the mortal world. Mako longed to join them, but he _couldn't be a part of that_. He couldn't destroy the world he worshiped, that he yearned to be a part of, even if he were able to be a part of it for few fleeting moments.

Even hundreds of meters away from the dark mass, Mako could feel his emotions swaying, his brain starting to spew darker thoughts and intentions. Mako looked to Yue and her light shone brighter than he had even seen it. He clung to her arm, his eyes begging her to take him away, to make sure he wasn't tempted to bite into his proverbial apple.

Mako was sucked away and moments later, he found himself coughing in the spirit oasis, feeling clean and bright again. Being an elemental spirit, Mako was influenced much more easily than Yue, who, as the moon spirit, was literally made of light itself.

The next couple of mortal months were the hardest that Mako could remember living through. He was literally in a constant battle with himself. He could feel the ongoing clash between dark and light going on throughout the spirit world and refused to be sucked onto the wrong side. He spoke with Yue about his struggles and after their talk, he noticed that she stayed closer to him, trying not to leave him unless she absolutely had to, trying to let her presence soothe the raging fight in him. He felt absolutely useless. He wanted to help, he wanted to fight against the dark spirit (_Vaatu_, he later learned his name to be) and he wanted to win so that he could take advantage of the open spirit portal. Mako wanted to leave. Each time he established his interests, Yue reminded him that his control would be destroyed instantly if he got to near the portal as the massive group of dark spirits would sweep him up and spit him out as one of them. So Mako stayed away.

Another change occurred many months later. Mako was on the way home from the meadow, laughing and talking with Yue when he was suddenly pulled away, somebody's spiritual core drawing him towards them like they were the sun and he was the earth. He caught himself before he reached his destination, but it was far too close and he glimpsed a young girl, around his physical age, with her hair in wolftails, her attire distinctly – his mind drew up a term he hadn't heard for eons – _watertribe_. As he spun himself away from her, back towards Yue, he shut his eyes and tried to forget, but her image burned through his eyelids and his brain scream at him one word – _Avatar. _

**A/N: ****This chapter focuses on Mako's life as a spirit. Don't worry, Makorra will play out very soon. **

**Please give me some feedback. I'd really like to hear your opinion on how I portrayed Mako and Yue. I interpreted their relationship to be more sibling-like than romance related and I hope it came off as being so. Regardless, feel free to jump on that ship if you want to.**

**Please let me know what you thought in a review. I really appreciate them and will reply to all of them. They really are motivational and make me happy.**

**So please review and thanks for reading!**


	2. Avatar

Part 2: Avatar

Mako really doesn't know what's wrong with him. Why is he following this girl around, this _human_ girl? He tells himself that he's just trying to look out for her, but in reality he's simply acting as a bystander and doing absolutely nothing as he watches her get sucked into the deep vortexes of the spirit world. She's pretty, he thinks, but quickly casts that thought away. He shakes his head as he observes her fruitless attempts to bend at some spirits – doesn't she know that you can't bend in the spirit world?

Mako really doesn't understand this girl. Why is she here? She clearly has no idea what she's doing. Mako thought that the Avatar, the bridge between the human and spirit worlds, would be more…spiritual. Instead, she's picking fights like a little child and influencing the entire balance of the world with her aura.

Mako watches as she grows scared after losing her friend, literally turning into a sobbing five year old curled up on the cold, dark forest floor. He watches and does nothing. Her big blue toddler eyes are hard to resist, but Mako keeps himself in control. Oddly, he feels this overwhelming need to protect her and longs to reach out towards her. Mako wants to give into her magnetic pull and comfort this creature full of light, but he restrains himself. He doesn't know this avatar, he doesn't know her intentions, her personality – he doesn't know anything about her. And he doesn't plan on helping her. She's interrupting the delicate balance of the spirit world. She may be bringing light, but he sees her instability and he knows that one mood swing from this powerful being could impact him like nobody else could.

Mako watches as the tiny baby dragon bird flies towards her, nearly hitting her in the face if it weren't for her arm dashing out to smack it away. Mako sucks in a breath and then lets it out as the bird picks itself up with her help. Mako watches as she encounters Iroh in the dark forest, watches as she chokes with tears that are comforted with wise words and a kind smile. Iroh, who had been mortal but reached enlightenment and then, joined the spirit world. Iroh, who Mako had only ever heard of but always longed to meet so that he could ask him how he had breached the barrier between the mortal and spirit worlds. Mako almost steps out from where he's hiding, but he's scared of what such an encounter might bring. He doesn't like unexpected change and everything about the scene in front of him makes him uncomfortable and ready to flee.

Mako can't help but wonder what kind of avatar this girl is. This was clearly her first trip into the spirit world (as not only does she act as if she doesn't even know the most basic rules, but Mako knows that he would have felt that inescapable pull towards her if she had come before) and he could tell it was not going well. He hoped that she was here to remedy the influx of dark spirits around the spirit portal, but she seemed to be wandering aimlessly. He watched as she joined in on the spiritual tea party, sipping tea with the spirits and chatting with Iroh. And then he watches, horrified as she starts to throw a tantrum. The sky darkens and the wind starts to whip at his face. Mako takes one last look at the young child before escaping. He doesn't bother to run, just allows his spiritual being to find Yue and spins off towards her, taking him away from the dangerous scene.

He collapses in front of her, nearly falling out of the tree Yue was perched in. She looked curiously at him.

"Where were you?" she asks, her tone inquisitive and worried as she takes in his expression. Mako gasps for breath and clutches tightly to the branch in front of him. He feels the tree grumble at him, shaking and twisting away from his choking grip. He instantly lets go, murmuring a quiet apology and asking for it to not throw him off. He really doesn't need the extra bruises (as if spirits could bruise).

"I saw the Avatar. Here, in the spirit world." Yue's wide blue eyes grew even larger. She quickly angles her body towards him, nearly whipping him in the face with white hair in her uncharacteristic movement.

"Aang?" Yue's eyes were wide and hopeful. Mako shook his head, feeling an ache of sympathy for the girl as she visibly shrunk.

"It was a girl. I don't know what her name is. Around your age – or your mortal age when you…erm, passed on." There really was no eloquent way to say it. Mako briskly continued. "She's clad in watertribe skins, um, wolftails in her hair and stuff. She seemed lost so I followed her around for a while."

"Did you talk to her?" Yue's voice thinned to a whisper.

"No. I couldn't. Iroh picked her up and now she's throwing some sort of tantrum creating dark spirits _everywhere. _I had to get away. I'm sorry." Mako really didn't know how much time had passed since Yue had come into this world and left the mortal one. They didn't have the same sense of time as the mortal world. For all they knew, Yue's loved ones where still alive and that human boy was still waiting for her, loving her.

Mako felt entirely helpless. Their entire world was changing; a spirit portal had opened, the avatar was _here,_ in the spirit world, and…Mako didn't know what to do.

No, he did. Tearing himself away, Mako murmured that he needed a little time to himself and then walked off towards the meadow.

•••••

For the first time in a long while, Mako left his home specifically for the purpose of being social. Well, being social and gathering some information. He first went to the wedding that Iroh had taken Korra to. He approached the large frog-shaped spirits, desperately not making eye contact with the other larger spirits sitting at the many tables, and trying his best to look less brooding than he usually did.

"Hi!" Mako started, smiling charmingly. The male spirit looked at him funny.

"Who are you, bub?" he demanded, poking an arm at Mako. "And what do you want?

"I'm Mako. I'm not looking for trouble, I just have some questions." The spirits gave him matching dubious looks. Mako continued. "The Avatar was here earlier right? With Iroh?"

"What of it?" the spirit answered roughly.

"Why was she here?" Mako insisted.

"What, you think our tea party wasn't good enough for the Avatar to attend? Huh? Is that what you think?" the spirit angrily said, shoving his huge head towards Mako. His image seemed to turn into a dark purple. Mako hurriedly backtracked.

"No, no! I'm just wondering why she was in the spirit world, not at your – tea party. I just-" Mako stuttered through his words, holding his hands up defensively.

"Mako!" Mako turned around and saw Yue approaching them. Her white hair danced in the air, almost as if there was a breeze going by. "What's going on?" she asked, her blue eyes calculating and trying to assess the situation.

"I'm just trying to get some information on the Avatar," Mako answered in a low tone, desperately hoping she could help him get the situation under control. He was a mess of social skills while she was a butterfly. Yue rolled her eyes at him before turning to the couple.

"I'm sorry about my friend. He's as awkward as a turtleduck. He really didn't mean any harm. I'm Yue."

"The moon spirit," the female frog gasped. "My lady-" Yue waved the spirit off, smiling graciously and encouraged the spirit to introduce herself. "I'm May. And this is my husband Jim. This tea party was meant to celebrate our wedding."

"Nice to meet you Jim and May. Congratulations on your marriage!" Yue embraced the two spirits before continuing. "My friend and I are a little confused. We've been sort of behind on the gossip going around. Those foxes aren't as fast as they used to be, if you know what I mean," she laughed. "We're just a little confused as to why the Avatar was here, in the spirit world." Yue turned on her charm and the other spirits were goners, immediately wishing to answer her questions. Mako allowed himself to fade into the background, listening to the conversation, but never butting in. He didn't want to cause a ruckus. He was never going to try to _socialize_ again.

"She's still here, actually. The Harmonic Convergence is in a couple of days. Vaatu is going to try to free himself from the Tree of Time. He's been conversing with a human, some watertribe man. They plan to fuse and become a _dark avatar_," May gossiped. Yue tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowing. "Avatar Korra's here to close the spirit portal." _No_, Mako thought. "She's on her way now –" All the spirits stopped their movement, their faces identical expressions of surprise. Completely shocked, Jim whispered,

"The northern portal – it's open. How can it be?" Mako could feel it too and he wondered, _what was the Avatar doing_?

Without himself consciously noticing, Mako's started to walk towards the spirit portals. It was Yue who anchored him again. She shook her head and grasped his hand tightly, trying to lend him some of her light. She thanked the bewildered May and Jim before leading Mako back to their home.

The next couple of days were absolutely hopeless. Mako felt the Avatar leave the spirit world and an inexplicable hole seemed to take form in his chest. Both he and Yue could feel the shift in the balance between light and dark; Yue was starting to look sickly as the dark spirits grew in number, seeming to multiply as the number of light spirits dwindled. Mako envied Yue and her forced confinement to one form: a light spirit. At least she didn't have to fight against the pull of the dark spirits. Mako had taken to never leaving the cave and hugging himself tightly, as if he could hold the light to himself. He constantly shivered and only comforted by the words of encouragement from Yue telling him that he was so strong to have resisted this long, as if he were a child. Fighting against his very own nature was slowing weakening him and Mako knew that eventually, he'd had to give in. He just hoped the Avatar would arrive before then to fix everything. Spirits, he was pathetic, he realized.

"She's back, the Avatar's back," he stuttered out to Yue one day and his shivering seemed to ease. He could stand again and took his opportunity to walk outside with her. They had nearly reached the meadow that May and Jim had held their celebratory tea party when the sky started to darken. Something tugged at his soul and Mako would have face planted if it weren't for Yue's steady arm around his waist. Mako suddenly felt much, _much _worse than he had ever felt before, collapsing and falling to the ground with a thud. A feeling was creeping up on him, completely invasive and unwelcome, but Mako couldn't quench it, _couldn't make it go away._ It wasn't until he heard the voice in his head, a seductive whisper coaxing him to let go, that Mako knew what was going on. He turned his head, trying to find Yue from his place on the ground and found her right beside him, clutching her chest tightly as if she were in pain. That's when Mako realized Yue was in pain. Something terrible had happened.

Vaatu had escaped and the Avatar was too late.

Struggling to break free of the invisible tendrils wrapped around his head, Mako crawled across the ground, trying to reach Yue. But the more he struggled, the tighter the tendrils grasped him and soon they started to pull him away, towards the portals. Mako tried to resist, but felt the dark spirit calling him, his hypnotizing voice a whisper in his mind, soothing but dangerous. Mako tried to call out for Yue and twisted his head around to find her back where they had collapsed, in obvious pain, but apparently not feeling Vaatu's call. She seemed to break out of her hurt daze and lunged for him, begging desperately for him to gain control of himself. But Mako was hopeless and he tried to convey that to her through his eyes. He could almost see the portals, both of them lacking the normal kaleidoscope globe that covered them, instead replaced by a beam of light. With his remaining energy, he shook Yue off and allowed himself to succumb to the darkness.

**A/N:** Sorry about the late update. I think I'm going to update every Monday from now on, giving me the weekend to write and edit. Also, I don't think this is going to be a four-shot anymore; probably something more like a six shot. I expanded the story line and I'm really excited.

I named this chapter _Avatar_ because this is really the first encounter that Mako has with Korra. He doesn't say anything to her, but he sees her. And I think that's really important. This chapter also just really got us up to speed with what went on in the show, so the next chapter will be entirely new and yes, there will be Makorra. It's probably also going to be a lot longer as I really want to flesh out their growing relationship (as they don't know each other plus, Mako's a _spirit_), which means I'll need more inspiration to write.

Which is where you guys come in! Please review because I'd really like some feedback and I really like to hear what you have to say. Also, it motivates me more to write and I'll really need it in the next week with my insane amount of tests (I'm super stressed). So **please review**. It means a lot.

Thanks so much!

Remember: Next week there will be _Makorra_ (I'm excited too)


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